and i am really looking forward to it..

suddenly i feel so strangely optimistic.
i am so grateful for what i do have in my life. always. but sometimes my optimism gets so faded. i really have to stop letting things get to me.
i know the past is the past. it needs to stop inserting itself into my dreams, haunting the corners of my mind.

this year went by so fast, and so much shit has happened. but i feel like this new years i have a better handle on things. i'm not so lost as i used to be. i'm a lot stronger. i have someone really good in my life now, i have something genuine and true. not just a fabrication of love, i've got the real thing. and just knowing that i have that makes each day so much better.

it was hard at first, but i will always believe this:
"the only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

i know that there will always be downs, real downs. but i have a good feeling. that if i can hold onto what i have no matter what, then everything will be alright.

i feel a lot of things are changing, but these changes aren't so frightening.



welcome to enlightenment.